Friday, October 17, 2008

Quarter Life

As much as I hate to admit it, I think John Mayer is onto something. Don't get me wrong, I think the dude should have a biohazard symbol branded on his forehead for all celebusingles to see (Jen Aniston...I'm lookin' at you.) But when he croones of having a quarter life crisis, I feel I know all too well what he's saying.

I find myself at one of those cliched crossroads, where it feels like every decision is weighted with the rest of my life dependent on the outcome. In truth, isn't this the case with every decision? But there are stretches of time where it seems like the toughest one you face is whether or not to rent a dramatic indie film, or a cheesy chick flick.

Going with the theme of cliche's I'd like to bring up another: ignorance is bliss. Hmm. There's a reason these things are trite and over-used and it's because they're the truth. A part of me exists that would love to pull the covers over my head and never re-surface. Or rather, surface just enough to go to work, put in my dues, pay my rent and be able to afford to grab a cocktail or buy a pair of pumps. Simple. Easy.

But even in the world of daydreams that life seems very shallow and leaves me feeling desperate and empty. I don't think anyone actively picks that life out for themselves. Instead, they choose it by not choosing something else. Being pro-active helps me feel in control and as any of you know who are reading this, I have a teensy issue with control. ;)

So what I'm left with is knowing I have to make a choice. A big one, preferably, while I still can. I'll leave you with this sublime quote from Nicole Kidman in the July issue of Vogue:

"I don’t believe in flittering around the edges of things. You’re either going to walk through life and experience it fully or you’re going to be a voyeur. And I’m not a voyeur.”

1 comment:

MrsCNLee said...

Ah that elusive feeling of control. It's an illusion, after all. You and I are most defiantly made from the same stuff.
The thing is, we all make bad choices. But we don't do so intentionally. We do the best we can with the information we have. Then we learn to make the best of the results. That's life. There are days that all we can control is what we put on our feet or in our mouths. And if we chose those things that make us happy and healthy, then not being able to control everything else doesn't seem as big of a deal.